While You Were Away
Well, well, well, it seems another Memorial Day is upon us. Time to try
out the new restaurants and try on the latest summer fashions. Time to
think about moisturizing and socializing. And time to check out the new
crop of shirtless waiters at Aqua.
Not so fast. Before we skip into summer, I still have some off-season
stories to share. I know you’re curious about what goes on down here
when you’re away. I have, therefore, carefully selected six stories for
your amusement. Stories I think epitomize the off-season. Ones you
probably won’t hear people talking about in the queer cocktail lounges
and swank dinner parties of Rehoboth. They won’t tell you these things.
But I will.
Chicken Fat Leaks 20 Miles
A Perdue chicken truck leaked poultry fat along 20 miles of highway,
causing at least four crashes and making a stinky mess, so reported the
New York Times. Yes, the New York Times. A policeman on the scene said the
grease stuck to tires and spread to other roads, causing “a real funky
odor.” I must admit this occurred further down the Peninsula, but given
all the chicken trucks in Sussex County I felt it in the public interest
to warn all you fabby boys who race east on Routes 16 and 404 on Friday
nights to keep your eyes open for this special kind of Delmarva black ice.
#6 Sells for $645,000
Delawareans have a fetish for low-digit black and white license
plates. You’ve seen them around town, I’m sure. If you own a low
number it means you’re a somebody or that you hail from an old Delaware
family. Plate number 6 sold for $645,000 at one of Butch Emmert’s
auctions in Rehoboth in February. Its purchaser was a man from New Castle
County.
According to news reports, the crowd of 500 cheered and chanted “go for
it” to spur on their favored bidders in their attempts to win the low
number plate that the auctioneer likened to the Mona Lisa.
The night before the auction, I was in a local watering hole talking to a
gentleman who spends his time in Rehoboth and Palm Beach. Said gentleman
was expressing some interest in plate number 6. I suggested that perhaps a
6 wasn’t such a good message to advertise to the world. An 8 or a 9, for
sure, but a 6 is, well, just average.
The County, A Novella
It was the Pepto-Bismal pink cover with the drawing of a bulldozer
knocking over a tree that caught my eye at the cash register at
Browseabout Books. What convinced me to plunk down $8.95 for what is
basically 37 Xeroxed pages folded in half and stapled was the fact that
this story about overdevelopment in a fictional county—very much like
Sussex County—was written by a man named Mike Mock who grew up here and
who has been in local real estate since 1983. The proceeds support the
Delaware Breast Cancer Coalition, but the messages are designed to support
the candidacy of Judson Bennett, a Republican running for the 3rd District
Council seat for Sussex County Council.
The novella was written to raise awareness of the problems of
overdevelopment in Sussex County. Along the way, it touches on farmers
selling land to money-hungry developers, the problems of affordable
housing, environmental degradation, and discrimination against blacks,
gays, and Hispanics. Mock says he will be writing another book that will
come out during Bennett’s campaign that will focus on his platform and
solutions.
The writing isn’t very eloquent and the plot isn’t so easy to follow.
But, I certainly applaud the concept and, more importantly, the messages.
Runaway Hog Shot on School Property
A rifle-toting butcher, his son, and grandson chased an escaped hog
into a Mennonite schoolyard in Greenwood, Delaware. The chase started when
the 300 pound porker broke out of its pen and made a dash for freedom. The
owner grabbed a gun and began chasing it, but when the teachers at the
school saw the hog approaching, they hustled the students inside. Listen,
I understand the teacher’s fear, having been charged by some crazed
porkers at the outlet malls. The hog was shot on school property. Even
though it is against the law to brandish a firearm on school property in
Delaware, the state decided not to prosecute the remorseful butcher.
Where Old Subway Cars Go to Die
Did you know there are more than 600 old New York City subway cars off
the coast of Rehoboth? Spread out over 1.3 square nautical miles, they
make up what is called Red Bird Reef, one of Delaware’s eleven
artificial reefs. Most of the Mid-Atlantic ocean floor is featureless sand
and mud splotches so these reefs are very attractive to marine life and to
fishermen. Divers report the reefs teeming with grasses, oysters, mussels,
sponges, black sea bass, and tautog. Five coastal states have artificial
reef programs to help boost local fish populations.
Delaware was the first state to begin using subway cars back in 2001 when
New York City began phasing out use of what were known as “redbird”
subway cars. They were called “redbirds” because they were painted a
deep red to combat graffiti.
Chicken Wings and Jazz
I appreciate irony, even more so when I’m fortunate enough to
experience it first hand. Imagine my delight in learning that the Frogg
Pond—one of my favorite joints—began featuring jazz on Friday nights.
Tablecloths and votive candles set the ambience for gnawing on teriyaki
chicken wings and sipping dirty martinis. I must admit my eyeballs kept
bouncing between the singer on stage and the Red Sox game on the
television screens. A delightfully ironic treat in a delightfully ironic
town.
Welcome
back. I know you’ve missed Rehoboth.
Rich Barnett, an unabashed gay, liberal, tree-hugging,
whiskey-drinking, Rehoboth cottage-owning story-teller, is working on a
book and can be reached at Greenbarn@aol.com.
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